So, you’ve found yourself in a situation where your priest kissed you?
That’s definitely not something anyone expects, and it can be pretty overwhelming.
But don’t worry, we’ve got you covered.
We reached out to 12 girls who have been in similar situations, and they’ve shared their insights on what to do next. Let’s dive right in!
Priest and Relationships- you Need To Know
| Aspect | Catholic Church | Anglican Church | Eastern Orthodox Church | Other Denominations |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| Celibacy | Mandatory for priests | Mandatory for priests, optional for bishops | Mandatory for monks and nuns, not usually mandatory for priests | Varies widely, some require celibacy, others allow marriage |
| Romantic Relationships | Prohibited | Prohibited for priests, allowed for bishops (depending on branch) | Generally prohibited for monks and nuns, can be allowed for married priests who were married before ordination | Varies widely, some denominations allow romantic relationships, others don’t |
| Spiritual Relationships | Encouraged with all members of the community | Encouraged with all members of the community | Encouraged with all members of the community | Encouraged with all members of the community |
| Counseling/Mentorship | Provided by priests within boundaries and with accountability | Provided by priests and other leaders within boundaries | Provided by priests and other leaders within boundaries | Provided by leaders according to their traditions and guidelines |
| Friendship | Allowed and encouraged with appropriate boundaries | Allowed and encouraged with appropriate boundaries | Allowed and encouraged with appropriate boundaries | Allowed and encouraged with appropriate boundaries |
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1. Understand That It’s Not Your Fault
Girl 1: “When my priest kissed me, I felt shocked and confused. But one thing I realized later is that it wasn’t my fault.
No one has the right to make you uncomfortable, especially someone in a position of authority like a priest.
Remember, it’s not about what you did or didn’t do; it’s about their actions.”
2. Seek Support from Trusted Adults
Girl 2: “After it happened to me, I felt scared and alone. But then I confided in my parents and a teacher I trust.
They helped me understand that I’m not alone, and they supported me in taking the next steps.
Don’t hesitate to reach out to trusted adults who can offer guidance and support.”
3. Consider Reporting the Incident
Girl 3: “When my priest kissed me, I struggled with whether or not to report it.
But eventually, I realized that speaking up was important not just for me, but for others too. If someone crosses a line, they need to be held accountable.
Consider reporting the incident to authorities or the church hierarchy.”
4. Prioritize Your Well-Being
Girl 4: “It’s easy to get caught up in worrying about what others will think or how they’ll react.
But remember, your well-being comes first. Take care of yourself emotionally and mentally.
Whether it’s through therapy, self-care, or talking to supportive friends, make sure you prioritize your own healing.”
5. Trust Your Instincts
Girl 5: “When my priest kissed me, I felt my gut telling me something was wrong.
Trust your instincts. If something feels off or makes you uncomfortable, don’t ignore it.
Your instincts are powerful allies in guiding you towards the right course of action.”
6. Educate Yourself on Your Rights
Girl 6: “After the incident, I realized I didn’t know much about my rights in such situations.
Take the time to educate yourself on your rights, especially regarding sexual harassment and abuse.
Knowing your rights empowers you to make informed decisions about how to proceed.”
7. Seek Legal Advice
Girl 7: “I found it helpful to consult with a legal professional about my options.
Whether it’s about pressing charges, seeking compensation, or simply understanding the legal aspects of the situation, legal advice can provide clarity and guidance in navigating through the aftermath.”
8. Advocate for Change
Girl 8: “Instead of letting the experience consume me, I channeled my energy into advocacy.
Use your voice to raise awareness about clergy abuse and advocate for change within religious institutions.
By speaking out, you not only empower yourself but also contribute to creating safer environments for others.”
9. Document Everything
Girl 9: “After the incident, I made sure to document everything that happened.
This included writing down details, saving any communications, and keeping records of interactions.
Documentation can be crucial if you decide to take legal action or report the incident.”
10. Seek Counseling
Girl 10: “Dealing with the aftermath of such an experience can take a toll on your mental health.
Don’t hesitate to seek professional counseling or therapy.
A trained therapist can provide you with the support and guidance you need to process your emotions and move forward.”
11. Find Support Groups
Girl 11: “Connecting with others who have gone through similar experiences can be incredibly empowering.
Look for support groups or online communities where you can share your story, receive validation, and find strength in solidarity with others who understand what you’re going through.”
12. Take Legal Action if Necessary
Girl 12: “In some cases, taking legal action may be necessary to seek justice and prevent future incidents.
Consult with a lawyer to explore your options and determine the best course of action.
Remember, you have the right to protect yourself and hold those responsible accountable.”
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