Your Ex to Me: 12 Crucial Questions to Ask

So, you’re in a relationship, and you can’t help but wonder how you measure up against your partner’s ex.

It’s natural to be curious, but it’s also important to approach this topic with some wisdom and caution.

That’s why I’ve compiled a list of 79 direct questions you can ask yourself and your partner to gain some clarity. Let’s dive in!

1. How do I handle conflicts compared to your ex?

• Do I communicate openly and resolve issues constructively, or am I more prone to arguments and misunderstandings?

2. Am I as supportive as your ex was?

• Do I encourage and uplift you in tough times, or do I fall short in providing the emotional support you need?

3. Do I make you feel appreciated like your ex did?

• Am I attentive to your needs and express my gratitude, or do you sometimes feel taken for granted?

4. How do I contribute to our relationship financially compared to your ex?

• Do I pull my weight when it comes to finances, or do you find yourself bearing more of the burden compared to your previous relationship?

5. In terms of hobbies and interests, do you prefer our dynamic or that of your ex?

• Are we compatible in our leisure activities, or did you share more common interests with your ex?

6. How do I handle stress and pressure compared to your ex?

• Do I remain calm and supportive during tough times, or do I add to the stress with my reactions?

7. Do I respect your boundaries as much as your ex did?

• Do I understand and honor your personal space and boundaries, or do I sometimes overstep?

8. How do I express affection compared to your ex?

• Do I show love and affection in ways that resonate with you, or do you miss certain gestures from your past relationship?

9. Do I prioritize your needs like your ex did?

• Am I considerate of your desires and goals, or do you sometimes feel neglected?

10. How do I communicate compared to your ex?

• Do I listen actively and express myself clearly, or do you find communication smoother with your previous partner?

11. Am I as reliable and trustworthy as your ex was?

• Do I keep my promises and follow through on commitments, or have you experienced a lack of trust compared to your previous relationship?

12. Overall, do you feel happier and more fulfilled with me or with your ex?

• Reflect on your satisfaction and emotional well-being in our relationship versus your previous one.

13. How do I handle disagreements compared to your ex?

• Do I approach conflicts with maturity and empathy, or do I tend to escalate situations unnecessarily?

14. Am I as adventurous and spontaneous as your ex was?

• Do I keep things exciting and bring spontaneity into our relationship, or do you miss the thrill of spontaneity from your previous partner?

15. In terms of family dynamics, do you prefer our relationship or that with your ex?

• Do we navigate family situations harmoniously, or did you find greater compatibility with your ex in this aspect?

16. How do I handle responsibilities compared to your ex?

• Do I share the load of household chores and responsibilities equitably, or did your ex take on more of the burden?

17. Do I show appreciation for your efforts like your ex did?

• Do I acknowledge and praise your accomplishments and efforts, or do you feel undervalued compared to your past relationship?

18. Am I as affectionate in public as your ex was?

• Do I show physical affection openly, or do you miss the public displays of affection from your previous partner?

19. How do I support your personal growth compared to your ex?

• Do I encourage your aspirations and help you pursue your goals, or did your ex play a more supportive role in your personal development?

20. Do I handle surprises and special occasions as well as your ex did?

• Do I make efforts to surprise you and make special occasions memorable, or do you miss the gestures from your past relationship?

21. How do I handle criticism compared to your ex?

• Do I accept feedback gracefully and work on improving, or do I react defensively like your previous partner?

22. Am I as attentive to your needs in the bedroom as your ex was?

• Do I prioritize your pleasure and communicate effectively about intimacy, or do you feel more satisfied with your ex in this aspect?

23. How do I handle surprises and special occasions as well as your ex did?

• Do I make efforts to surprise you and make special occasions memorable, or do you miss the gestures from your past relationship?

24. Do I prioritize quality time with you like your ex did?

• Do I make time for meaningful interactions and shared experiences, or did your ex excel in carving out quality time together?

25. How do I handle stress in your presence compared to your ex?

• Do I find comfort and support in your presence during stressful times, or did your ex provide a greater sense of calm and reassurance?

26. Am I as spontaneous with gestures of love and kindness as your ex was?

• Do I surprise you with thoughtful gestures and acts of kindness, or do you miss the spontaneity and surprises from your previous partner?

27. In terms of communication during conflicts, do you find me more understanding than your ex?

• Do I listen empathetically and work towards resolving conflicts peacefully, or did your ex have a better understanding during tough times?

28. How do I handle your emotions compared to your ex?

• Do I validate your feelings and provide comfort when needed, or did your ex excel in providing emotional support?

29. Am I as patient and tolerant of your flaws as your ex was?

• Do I accept you for who you are, flaws and all, or did your ex demonstrate more patience in dealing with imperfections?

30. How do I contribute to your personal happiness compared to your ex?

• Do I actively strive to make you happy and fulfilled, or did your ex play a bigger role in your overall happiness?

31. In terms of future planning, do you find me more committed than your ex?

• Do I actively engage in discussions about our future together and demonstrate commitment, or did your ex show more dedication towards long-term plans?

32. How do I handle disagreements with your friends and family compared to your ex?

• Do I navigate conflicts with your loved ones respectfully, or did your ex handle such situations better?

33. Am I as respectful of your boundaries with friends and personal space as your ex was?

• Do I respect your need for personal space and boundaries with friends, or did your ex demonstrate greater respect in this regard?

34. In terms of personal growth, do you find me more supportive than your ex?

• Do I encourage you to pursue your passions and grow as an individual, or did your ex provide more support in your personal development?

35. How do I handle surprises and special occasions as well as your ex did?

• Do I make efforts to surprise you and make special occasions memorable, or do you miss the gestures from your past relationship?

36. Do I prioritize quality time with you like your ex did?

• Do I make time for meaningful interactions and shared experiences, or did your ex excel in carving out quality time together?

37. How do I handle surprises and special occasions as well as your ex did?

• Do I make efforts to surprise you and make special occasions memorable, or do you miss the gestures from your past relationship?

38. Am I as adventurous and open-minded as your ex was when trying new things?

• Do I embrace new experiences and adventures with enthusiasm, or did your ex exhibit more openness in exploring new things together?

39. How do I handle stressful situations together compared to your ex?

• Do we support each other effectively during tough times, or did your ex provide more comfort and stability in stressful situations?

41. Do I prioritize quality time with you like your ex did?

• Do I make time for meaningful interactions and shared experiences, or did your ex excel in carving out quality time together?

42. How do I handle disagreements and conflicts with your friends compared to your ex?

• Do I navigate conflicts with your friends and acquaintances respectfully, or did your ex handle such situations better?

43. Am I as supportive of your career goals and aspirations as your ex was?

• Do I encourage your professional growth and provide support in achieving your career aspirations, or did your ex play a bigger role in this aspect?

44. In terms of humor and laughter, do you find me as amusing as your ex was?

• Do I bring joy and laughter into your life with my sense of humor, or do you miss the laughter shared with your previous partner?

45. How do I handle difficult decisions and responsibilities compared to your ex?

• Do I share the burden of making tough decisions and handling responsibilities effectively, or did your ex take on more of the leadership role in such situations?

46. Do I show appreciation for your efforts like your ex did?

• Do I acknowledge and praise your accomplishments and efforts, or do you feel undervalued compared to your past relationship?

47. How do I handle surprises and special occasions as well as your ex did?

• Do I make efforts to surprise you and make special occasions memorable, or do you miss the gestures from your past relationship?

48. Am I as understanding and empathetic towards your struggles as your ex was?

• Do I offer empathy and support during tough times, or did your ex demonstrate more understanding and compassion?

49. In terms of spontaneity and adventure, do you find me as exciting as your ex was?

• Do I bring spontaneity and excitement into our relationship, or do you miss the thrill of adventures with your previous partner?

50. How do I handle your insecurities and vulnerabilities compared to your ex?

• Do I provide reassurance and comfort during moments of insecurity, or did your ex excel in making you feel secure and valued?

51. Am I as attentive to your needs and desires in the bedroom as your ex was?

• Do I prioritize your pleasure and satisfaction in our intimate moments, or do you feel more fulfilled with your ex in this aspect?

52. How do I handle disagreements and conflicts with your family compared to your ex?

• Do I navigate conflicts with your family members respectfully, or did your ex handle such situations better?

53. Do I prioritize self-care and well-being as much as your ex did?

• Do I encourage you to prioritize self-care and well-being, or did your ex demonstrate more concern for your health and happiness?

54. In terms of communication during difficult conversations, do you find me as patient as your ex was?

• Do I listen patiently and communicate effectively during challenging discussions, or did your ex exhibit more patience and understanding?

55. How do I handle conflicts and disagreements with you compared to your ex?

• Do I approach conflicts with maturity and empathy, or did your ex handle disagreements better?

56. Am I as adventurous and spontaneous as your ex was in our relationship?

• Do I keep things exciting and bring spontaneity into our relationship, or do you miss the thrill of spontaneity from your previous partner?

57. How do I support your personal growth compared to your ex?

• Do I encourage your aspirations and help you pursue your goals, or did your ex play a more supportive role in your personal development?

58. Do I make you feel appreciated like your ex did?

• Am I attentive to your needs and express my gratitude, or do you sometimes feel taken for granted?

59. How do I handle stressful situations compared to your ex?

• Do I remain calm and supportive during tough times, or do I add to the stress with my reactions?

60. Do I prioritize your happiness and well-being as much as your ex did?

• Do I actively strive to make you happy and fulfilled, or did your ex play a bigger role in your overall happiness?

61. In terms of emotional support, do you find me as comforting as your ex was?

• Do I validate your feelings and provide comfort when needed, or did your ex excel in providing emotional support?

62. How do I handle surprises and special occasions compared to your ex?

• Do I make efforts to surprise you and make special occasions memorable, or do you miss the gestures from your past relationship?

63. Am I as respectful of your boundaries and personal space as your ex was?

• Do I understand and honor your personal space and boundaries, or do I sometimes overstep?

64. Do I prioritize communication and honesty in our relationship as much as your ex did?

• Do I listen actively and express myself clearly, or do you find communication smoother with your previous partner?

65. How do I handle disagreements and conflicts with your friends compared to your ex?

• Do I navigate conflicts with your friends and acquaintances respectfully, or did your ex handle such situations better?

66. Do I show appreciation for your efforts and achievements as much as your ex did?

• Do I acknowledge and praise your accomplishments and efforts, or do you feel undervalued compared to your past relationship?

67. How do I handle surprises and special occasions compared to your ex?

• Do I make efforts to surprise you and make special occasions memorable, or do you miss the gestures from your past relationship?

68. Am I as supportive of your career aspirations as your ex was?

• Do I encourage your professional growth and provide support in achieving your career aspirations, or did your ex play a bigger role in this aspect?

69. In terms of planning and organization, do you find me as efficient as your ex was?

• Do I contribute effectively to planning and organizing our lives, or did your ex excel in these areas?

70. How do I handle disagreements and conflicts within our relationship compared to your ex?

• Do I approach conflicts with maturity and empathy, or did your ex handle disagreements better?

71. Am I as supportive of your dreams and aspirations as your ex was?

• Do I encourage your goals and support your endeavors, or did your ex play a more supportive role in your aspirations?

72. How do I handle decision-making compared to your ex?

• Do I involve you in decision-making processes and consider your opinions, or did your ex take charge more effectively?

73. Do I make you feel loved and cherished like your ex did?

• Am I affectionate and expressive of my love, or do you sometimes miss the affection from your past relationship?

74. In terms of spontaneity and adventure, do you find me as exciting as your ex was?

• Do I keep things lively and spontaneous in our relationship, or do you miss the excitement from your previous partner?

75. How do I handle disagreements and conflicts with your family compared to your ex?

• Do I navigate conflicts with your family members respectfully, or did your ex handle such situations better?

76. Do I prioritize your needs and happiness as much as your ex did?

• Do I make efforts to ensure your happiness and well-being, or did your ex prioritize your needs more effectively?

77. In terms of trust and loyalty, do you find me as dependable as your ex was?

• Do I keep my promises and demonstrate loyalty, or did your ex instill a greater sense of trust in you?

78. How do I handle surprises and special occasions compared to your ex?

• Do I make efforts to surprise you and make special occasions memorable, or do you miss the gestures from your past relationship?

79. Am I as understanding and empathetic towards your struggles as your ex was?

• Do I offer empathy and support during tough times, or did your ex demonstrate more understanding and compassion?