Are you considering marrying a doctor or already hitched to one?
Well, as someone who’s been there, let me tell you – it’s not always a walk in the park.
While there are certainly some amazing benefits to being with a medical professional, there are also some real challenges that come with the territory.
But don’t worry, I’m here to share my experiences with you in a friendly and relatable way.
So grab a cup of coffee, get cozy, and let’s chat about the potential downsides of being married to a doctor. Don’t worry, I promise to keep it real and offer some helpful insights along the way!
Fact
One in four women physicians are married to doctors, and 16% of male doctors are married to physicians, says a survey of more than 15,000 physicians in 29 specialties that was published on the Medscape news website. Meanwhile, 35% of male doctors are married to nonphysician health professionals, and 11% of women physicians are married to such health professionals.
Disadvantages of Marrying doctor
Long working hours:
As the spouse of a doctor, I sometimes feel like I’m in a long distance relationship with someone who lives in the same house.
It can be tough when my partner works late nights or gets called in for emergency shifts, but we’ve learned to make the most of the time we do have together.
And when my partner does finally come home, I always get a warm and grateful welcome. Hey, absence makes the heart grow fonder, right?
High levels of stress:
My partner’s job can be pretty stressful, especially when dealing with life and death situations or difficult patients.
But we’ve found ways to help relieve that stress – sometimes it’s a glass of wine and a Netflix binge, sometimes it’s a bubble bath or a massage.
And when my partner’s in a particularly rough patch, I make sure to remind them that no matter what, I’m here to support and love them.
Irregular schedules:
Date nights can be a challenge when my partner gets called in to work unexpectedly, but we’ve learned to embrace the spontaneous moments.
Maybe it’s a mid-week lunch date or a surprise breakfast in bed when my partner finally gets home from a long shift.
We’ve also found creative ways to make the most of our time together, like cooking together or taking a hike on a day off.
Limited flexibility:
We’ve had to cancel vacation plans due to work demands, but on the bright side, we’re experts at staycations!
Sometimes it’s just as nice to spend a weekend at home, watching movies and trying out new recipes.
Plus, we’ve learned to take advantage of the times when my partner does have time off – we plan fun trips and adventures when we can, and savor the memories when we can’t.
Emotional toll:
Sometimes my partner comes home with some pretty heavy emotions from work – dealing with sick or injured patients can take a real toll.
But it’s a good thing I’m a great listener and have a stash of tissues on hand.
We’ve also found that it helps to decompress after work – my partner likes to run or do yoga to clear their head, while I like to unwind with a good book or a bubble bath.
Responsibility overload:
My partner has a lot of responsibility at work, but I like to remind them that I’m in charge of taking out the trash at home.
We’ve found that having clearly defined roles and responsibilities helps keep things running smoothly.
Plus, we’re a team – my partner may be saving lives at work, but I’m the MVP when it comes to doing the laundry.
Exposure to illness:
It’s not fun getting sick from the germs my partner brings home from work, but at least we can share in the misery together.
We’ve learned to take extra precautions to stay healthy – washing our hands frequently, using hand sanitizer, and making sure to get plenty of rest.
And when one of us does get sick, the other is always there with a bowl of soup and some sympathy.
Limited social life:
We may not be the most social couple, but we make up for it with quality time together.
We’ve found that we don’t need a big social circle to be happy – just each other.
Plus, when we do want to be social, we’ve got plenty of doctor friends who can relate to our unique lifestyle.
Financial pressure:
We’ve had to tighten our budget due to the cost of medical school, but we’ve learned to appreciate the simple things in life.
Potential for burnout:
My partner’s job can be intense and demanding, but we’ve learned to prioritize self-care and work-life balance.
We make sure to schedule in downtime and relaxation, whether it’s a weekend getaway or just a quiet night at home.
And when my partner needs a break from work, I’m always there with a foot rub and some words of encouragement. Together, we’ve got this.
Lack of time for hobbies:
With my partner’s busy schedule, it can be hard to find time for hobbies and interests.
But we’ve learned to make the most of the time we do have – whether it’s a quick bike ride or a painting session.
And sometimes, my partner’s work can even be a source of inspiration for their creative pursuits.
Pressure to be perfect:
As the spouse of a doctor, I sometimes feel like I need to have everything together and be the perfect support system.
Constantly being on call:
Even when my partner’s not at work, there’s always the potential for an emergency call.
Balancing work and family:
With my partner’s demanding career, it can be challenging to find time for family events or obligations.
And when my partner does have to miss a family event, we make sure to FaceTime or send pictures so they can still feel connected.
Dealing with difficult patients:
My partner’s job often involves dealing with patients who are angry, scared, or in pain.
And when my partner does come home with a difficult case on their mind, I’m always there to listen and offer support.
Balancing work and personal relationships:
My partner’s job can be all-consuming at times, which can make it hard to prioritize personal relationships.
But we’ve learned to be intentional about making time for our loved ones – whether it’s a weekly phone call with family or a date night with friends.
Career uncertainty:
In the ever-changing world of medicine, there’s always the potential for job insecurity or uncertainty. But we’ve learned to focus on the things we can control – like building a strong network and continuing to learn and grow.
And when things do get stressful, we remind ourselves that we’ve weathered uncertainty before and we can do it again.
Lack of control over schedule:
With my partner’s job, it can be hard to make plans in advance or stick to a set schedule. But we’ve learned to be adaptable and flexible – sometimes it means planning things last-minute or being okay with plans changing.
And when we do have to adjust our plans, we make sure to focus on the positives and find new opportunities for adventure.
Limited time off:
With my partner’s demanding schedule, it can be hard to find time for a proper vacation.
But we’ve learned to be creative with our time off – sometimes it’s just a long weekend or a day trip to a nearby town. And when we do get a chance to take a real vacation, we savor every moment and make the most of the time we have.
Difficulty balancing personal and professional identities:
It can be challenging to balance my partner’s identity as a doctor with their personal identity and interests. But we’ve learned to embrace all aspects of ourselves – whether it’s my partner’s love of hiking or their dedication to their patients.
And when we do have to navigate the intersection of personal and professional, we do so with humor, grace, and a healthy dose of self-awareness.
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